So it was brought to my attention numerous times that I have had a pretty rough time since nick has been gone... Here is just a quick list..
1. I gave birth to our daughter a week later Nick left for the second time.
2. I fought and conquered post partum depression.
3. I found out that I have stage one ovarian cancer.
4. Taylor was diagnosed with seizures.
5. Taylor was diagnosed with Autism
6. I have kidney stones/kidney infection and I am looking at surgery possibly.
7. My only parent left moved back to her home country leaving me "alone" without any parent physically here.
Now most people have been a huge support ( anissa, Kate, Katy, Sylvia, Erikka, and family!) But I still get the occasional eye roll when I post that I wish Nick could have been here for a holiday or a birthday or even just make it back by our anniversary! What gets me the most is not once have I complained about how I cant do this without him or I NEED him ( sure at first I did ... but only to close friends and family) I also do not count down the days for this to me seems like it makes it go slower... sure maybe the weeks and when we get to 7 days I will but right now there is like a million days left and I dont feel like counting. lol
what I am trying to say in this blog is that I do miss nick just because I dont post about it on fb all the time does not mean I dont... I am sooo thankful for his sacrifices... and lets agree he is sacrificing a lot! and I will not lie that I dont think to myself or cry at night once the girls are asleep because the battles Im facing on a daily basis seem so big and yes I have God... but sometimes I think to myself my husband would be nice... even if it is just a hug.
So please stop telling me that I dont need to complain everyday and I need to be proud and stand by him because I am. But if you notice the list above thats alot in one year... let me tell ya!
If I have offended anyone I am sorry.
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