What is your purpose in life?

This morning I went to an interview for a position as a social worker in a drug rehabilitation facility. First of all, let me start by stating I admire anyone who is able to overcome addiction. The lady conducting the interview went through a series of the normal questions. When asked me to tell her about myself, I started in on how I was married with two beautiful daughters one whom is special needs - well that is where she stopped me. She asked about Taylor and after I explained almost everything, she asked me to tell her what my purpose was in life before I had children - I could not answer the question, I mean I could spit out a zillion different answers that are generic - but I could honestly not answer the question. She said well that is interesting, you are so young and yet you can not tell me what your purpose was before you had children. Out of all due respect, I responded... I can simply not find an honest answer. 

she then went on to ask me, what is your purpose now? That was easy - to make the best life possible for my daughters and to love them unconditionally, I have added something new in to my response - that is to seek God in everything I do. For some of you already know this, but I went through an extreme hatred phase about a year ago... I still struggle and I lean on strong christian friends to help guide me. Anyhow back to the interview, the lady asked me why I chose to go the child advocate route, my response, so special needs children have a voice when no one else will listen. To that, she raised her eye brows. This offended me and to this moment I still am, our country is ignorant to special needs children. Everyone wants to think that they know and understand, but really until you have one of your own to take care of, to parent, to protect - trust me when I say you do not fully understand. 

Before Taylor, I could have cared less about special needs and what came with it. sure I worked with them, I had the heart for them, but I certainly did not care after 5pm when they went home. This scares me, after seeing all of the posts on FB this week about the first week of school and the "horror" stories I am scared to send Taylor to school without her having an advocate every step of the way. We can say that their parents are their biggest advocates and that may be true, but you still do not fully understand until you have that "outside" person who has an insight into the world that we are stuck in. 

So to the lady who conducted my interview, if you want to raise your eye brows - do so... but next time give me a chance to explain myself. Thanks :) 

So here is to hoping there was a place for me to minister and counsel drug addicts. I can only pray. 

Difficult Post to write.

So I apologize to my family who follow our blog, I have been MIA lately and this post has been sitting in Word waiting for the right time to post.

As a family we have been dealing with quite a bit here lately and we needed some time as a family to really let it sink in and adjust to it all. SO here is a mass update

Addyson - This little miss is growing SO big. She is 20 months now and before we know it she will be 2! Where did all the time go??? Just yesterday I feel like I was still pregnant with her. She is doing quite well and I could not be more proud of all she is accomplishing.

Taylor - Well from a therapy stand point she is doing amazing, PRAISE God! From a hearing standpoint, she failed her hearing screen for school so off we go to yet another specialist. This little girl is full of surprises and never ceases to amaze me with what comes out of her mouth. :)

Nick - Where do I start? Still waiting on news regarding his re enlistment, and waiting... He truly is my role model, during one of the most stressful times he has held his family together and has remained loyal to his duty to his country. We have been asked if he made Staff Sgt, and the answer is No. None the less I am proud of him and did not feel the need to post all over FB about it. I ask for prayers as we focus on where Nick's "fate" is headed...

Me - Well, grad school is proving to be challenging but nothing that I can not handle. I start my new job teaching three year old special needs soon and I find it oddly relaxing to know that with everything going on, I have been able to find a job. My health is not so well, I ask for prayers, My only kidney is not doing so well, and I have hit a lot of "reality" points in the last month. None the less, I will take care what needs to be done for my health and to be here for my family.

SO there you have it a lot going on in the last couple of months, its been a fun ride!

Later!