There are times when I remember why I made certain decisions. Like the decision of my first major-- microbiology. Both my parents died from Congestive Heart Failure. To some im sure you are thinking whats the big deal? They were your parents that should be enough, right? No it was not enough that they were my parents -- what did me in was when my mothers cardiologist told me there was no cure. At ten I knew that there was no cure, it was a waiting game. When my father was diagnosed with CHF at the age of 16 I was upset that I knew it would be yet another waiting game. So it was the decision that I felt I needed to find the cure for CHF.
Now 11 years later I am still asking why I didnt take that route, go medical research... I see it in my own life and it did not become apparent till I was in the hospital last week. When I asked the dr what causes Preclampsia, his response there is no explanation or cure for preclampsia. I was upset thinking to myself I am doing this to my body. Why would I continue to put my life at risk to bring new life into this world? I am so in over my head I remember thinking. Why cant I be the one to figure out what causes preclampsia and why the only cure is to take the baby out of my body.
A lot of thinking today... maybe to much. Idk.
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