Brave Face.

I use to think people were just making comments to be "mean" - I brushed them off after venting to mum or one of my good friends... but lately I have been putting my BRAVE face on not only for myself - but for my daughter(s)... after all do I really want them learning from me how much I dislike the fact their dad is gone? IF they learn that from me, then I really did not do my part of the job - that is teaching them to be thankful for their fathers sacrifices that he makes to put food on the table and a roof over their heads.

I was told that I should let Taylor see me cry. I ask why? She saw mommy cry at the airport and she will see it many more times... but if I can wait and hold it in till she is in bed or im not with her, then why not? If she sees mommy being brave then she to will be brave with mommy! There is no need for me to be stressed out around her or emotional she will pick up on that and soon will be doing the same thing!

I am not saying that when I see a happy couple in the store or at dinner... or I hear about what my friends are doing with their spouses... that I dont cry on the inside. It makes my heart ache so much especially when I realize that Addyson could come anytime now and Nick will miss it. There is no waiting with my blood pressure.

Yes we are on the list to join Nick in Korea- this was a family decision as he is missing time with his girls. It might not be the place for him to bring his family - but trust me all the risks have been weighed and if it is meant for us to be there then the military will approve us... if not then God has other plans for us right now!

I can say that military life is not easy- but currently I have two good friends and one cousin who are living apart from their spouses so they to can be supported and fed and THEY arent military!

I have been blessed to meet a new friend here in Casa Grande whose boyfriend is stationed with Nick in Korea. ( they all went to HS together) It is an amazing support system that I have and I am soo thankful for everyone who has been there for me in the last couple of months

Sooo here it is 30 weeks tomorrow... Taylor came at 31.5 weeks. Please pray!!! Im anxious, nervous and scared... But again this is Gods planning... NOT MINE!!