this post doesnt have a name... i more or less just needed to put down some thoughts that have been running through my head the last couple of weeks- well 12 weeks to be exact...
1. I have hit the realization that I will no longer ever again be pregnant... I am however thankful for the two beautiful girls that God blessed me with, you just have to know that I am feeling regret and guilt.
2. I miss my parents ( all 3 of them) my dad would have had something clever to tell me and mom - well i am not sure what she would have done, and mum - what can I say she gives the best advice hands down.
3 with that being said my mum is by far the greatest and most heroic person to ever be apart of my life. She "saved" my life from going down a different path, without her I would not be the mother I am today!
4. I miss my husband. ( i know military spouses are suppose to be strong but really all i want to do is crawl inside my covers and keep crying till september. BUT I cant I have to be strong for my daughters who need to know that what their father is doing is heroic and he is sacrificing a lot)
5. I cant believe Addyson is almost 3 months old- this makes me really sad.
6. With that being said I can not believe that my first born daughter is going to be 2 in april and I am already planning her party!
7. why do i get stuck with all the medical problems??? Huh? Seriously did anyone ask me if I wanted all of this?!
8. with that being said I have the fear that I will too die young like my parents and not get to see my girls graduate from high school or college or even get married and one day ( years and years from now) make me a grandma!
9. I have a jealousy inside of me when other women find out they are pregnant or have the opposite sex. I know I know really Janine? Jealousy? yep pure envy.... sorry ladies!
that is it for now- thanks for letting me vent blog world!
xoxox janine
Monday, February 21, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Time for a change-
Do you ever realize that you just need a change? I am... I have been having migraine headaches that have all but made me look like a walking zombie. But through this all I have truly learned who my friends are... Krista has willing come up from tucson to go with me to numerous appointments... others tasha and jenn have offered words of encouragement... and Erikka and Kate you two honestly keep me going.
So here is to "purging" friends that no longer seem to have time to even text me or anything. The relationship works both ways... I am no longer going to be the only one to initiate conversation, for really when it comes down to it... I dont have time.I have time to make for friends who have time to make for me.
anywho-
update!!!!!
Addyson weighs in at 11 lbs even and is 22 inches long!!! wooo
taylor is walking and talking up a storm!!! and POTTY TRAINING!
Nick is well and Im on my way there!!
hope you are all well!
So here is to "purging" friends that no longer seem to have time to even text me or anything. The relationship works both ways... I am no longer going to be the only one to initiate conversation, for really when it comes down to it... I dont have time.I have time to make for friends who have time to make for me.
anywho-
update!!!!!
Addyson weighs in at 11 lbs even and is 22 inches long!!! wooo
taylor is walking and talking up a storm!!! and POTTY TRAINING!
Nick is well and Im on my way there!!
hope you are all well!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Military Life
You always here about military spouses cheating and leaving their spouses while they are on deployments...
Im not that girl/woman... my husband is gone yes but I will not be the one to cheat. I cant stand hearing the stories from friends about who cheated on who. I also get annoyed when people complain about their marriage and the fact that their husband is gone... get over it... seriously you knew that he would be gone when you married him and you knew that it would happen. So suck it up and deal with it or dont be married to the military.
I also get annoyed when spouses tell their fellow partner that they think they need to change their career. ( get out of the military etc...) Really? Come on if Nick told me Janine I do not want you to do what you love and help others ... I would laugh and tell him thats to bad... Nick and so many others are fighting for our freedom... they arent just working long hours and spending up to a year away from their families because they think its fun... they do it because they know that a sacrfice needs to be made in order to protect our freedom.
I am fortunate enough to have several friends that have told me over and over I have every right to complain about my husband being gone... but really all I can do is tell them how proud of my husband I am. Yes I have to deal with medical problems and two young children without him here. But such is our life right now! I wouldnt change it...
Yes I do miss my husband but he is making one hell of a airman! I love you babe! and we are all proud of you!!!
Im not that girl/woman... my husband is gone yes but I will not be the one to cheat. I cant stand hearing the stories from friends about who cheated on who. I also get annoyed when people complain about their marriage and the fact that their husband is gone... get over it... seriously you knew that he would be gone when you married him and you knew that it would happen. So suck it up and deal with it or dont be married to the military.
I also get annoyed when spouses tell their fellow partner that they think they need to change their career. ( get out of the military etc...) Really? Come on if Nick told me Janine I do not want you to do what you love and help others ... I would laugh and tell him thats to bad... Nick and so many others are fighting for our freedom... they arent just working long hours and spending up to a year away from their families because they think its fun... they do it because they know that a sacrfice needs to be made in order to protect our freedom.
I am fortunate enough to have several friends that have told me over and over I have every right to complain about my husband being gone... but really all I can do is tell them how proud of my husband I am. Yes I have to deal with medical problems and two young children without him here. But such is our life right now! I wouldnt change it...
Yes I do miss my husband but he is making one hell of a airman! I love you babe! and we are all proud of you!!!
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