Saturday Taylors grandma came to pick her up for the week. But that is not what got me thinking about that word... the thinking started monday at the high risk OB's office, when he said I could and I would make it past 32 weeks he was sure of it, in fact he went on to say that I can go as far as 38 weeks... I was thrilled so in that regard to me the word week was pretty encouraging... then I went to schedule my next Appointment, and my husband informed me that he only had 10 weeks left in the US in Arizona... I was crying inside. He would be gone for approximately 53 weeks... really? As the weeks tick down and D day gets closer, I just want to pause time...
tonight over dinner we both talked about how much can happen in 53 weeks, pretty good conversation to have dont ya think? Not.... When I think about how long a week is and how long 53 weeks are going to be I cant help but tear up... But I have to say this I am very thankful for my husband and his service to this country... I am proud to be an american, I am proud to be married to a "soldier" fighting whether it is in korea, iraq, or Japan for this country and the freedom that everyday people get to enjoy!
On the 4th of July remember this, the fireworks in the sky are symbolic of our freedom... the fellowship of family and friends is all allowed because someone somewhere signed their name on a form to fight for this country!
I will survive the 53 weeks of seperation, and so will our children, because they to will know and understand that their daddy is a hero in our eyes!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Moments.
Today as stressful as everything has been I am constantly reminded by my husband,family, and friends that God is in control... when really all I have felt lately is that my world is spinning out of control.
But it is true God is in control. He is the source of encouragement that my family and friends are able to give me... Its funny I always dreamed when I was a little girl that I would one day have money to do as I please, and a husband that worked a 8 to 5 job and was always home on weekends and for holidays... but reality has hit me this week... and as much as I have not wanted to admit it, it really has... I thought it already had but I had just pushed it all to the side to focus on other things, other peoples lives, other problems....
My parents raised me in a strong christian environment... I was always encouraged... looking back I realize it as encouragement... but at the time i thought they were just nagging me. ( haha sorry Mum.) My father when I went away to college told me to have faith... I found this quite funny as My father had not really ever said that to me. But he did and I will always remember it... in fact in the craziness of getting our assignment figured out and nick going to korea his voice is in the back of my head reminding me to have faith.
And I do I have faith that wherever we are meant to go we will be sent there... Nick is going to Korea and I have to have faith that God will bring him back to me safe. ( yes I know it is fine right now in Korea, You just never know what could happen tomorrow let alone in a year.) I have faith that this pregnancy is going to turn out fine and as per mums request this baby will come either at thanksgiving or right on time!
Most of all I have been thinking back on certain moments that Nick and I have shared since being together....one of those is getting married... another is celebrating our first christmas together as a family, Being accepted into his family... also nick being accepted into my family despite circumstances. My dad thought of nick as his son, I know because he would always tell me to tell his son in law hello I still picture the two of them ( i think the last time i saw my father) standing on our balcony watching the jets at the air show. The birth of our daughter.... thats a big one!!! I dont care who you are you always want your husband there with you when you give birth... this time he wont be, its a sacrifice that we have to make.... but I have faith that he will be there in spirit!
man this is crazy how much reality sometimes can suck but if you just have faith you can get through anything! love it!
But it is true God is in control. He is the source of encouragement that my family and friends are able to give me... Its funny I always dreamed when I was a little girl that I would one day have money to do as I please, and a husband that worked a 8 to 5 job and was always home on weekends and for holidays... but reality has hit me this week... and as much as I have not wanted to admit it, it really has... I thought it already had but I had just pushed it all to the side to focus on other things, other peoples lives, other problems....
My parents raised me in a strong christian environment... I was always encouraged... looking back I realize it as encouragement... but at the time i thought they were just nagging me. ( haha sorry Mum.) My father when I went away to college told me to have faith... I found this quite funny as My father had not really ever said that to me. But he did and I will always remember it... in fact in the craziness of getting our assignment figured out and nick going to korea his voice is in the back of my head reminding me to have faith.
And I do I have faith that wherever we are meant to go we will be sent there... Nick is going to Korea and I have to have faith that God will bring him back to me safe. ( yes I know it is fine right now in Korea, You just never know what could happen tomorrow let alone in a year.) I have faith that this pregnancy is going to turn out fine and as per mums request this baby will come either at thanksgiving or right on time!
Most of all I have been thinking back on certain moments that Nick and I have shared since being together....one of those is getting married... another is celebrating our first christmas together as a family, Being accepted into his family... also nick being accepted into my family despite circumstances. My dad thought of nick as his son, I know because he would always tell me to tell his son in law hello I still picture the two of them ( i think the last time i saw my father) standing on our balcony watching the jets at the air show. The birth of our daughter.... thats a big one!!! I dont care who you are you always want your husband there with you when you give birth... this time he wont be, its a sacrifice that we have to make.... but I have faith that he will be there in spirit!
man this is crazy how much reality sometimes can suck but if you just have faith you can get through anything! love it!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Whos your daddy?
As I woke up this morning, I could hear the dogs barking outside, my husband breathing next to me, and could hear my daughter jabbering in her bed... I smiled. Man I have the life. That was before I realized Taylor had a fever, I could not call my own father and wish him a happy fathers day, and I realized that the father of my children would be leaving for a year before I can even blink and eye.
But just for that one moment of peace I had it all and I still do! I have a husband who makes a great father!! Taylor loves him unconditionally for now... haha Last night he sprung into action when I told him we needed to go to the emergency room, not for me but for Taylor... I was in a blur thinking what could possibly be wrong with my baby... Nick the calm one made sure the house was locked and even grabbed us something to drink.
I never thought that two fathers day ago I would not have my own father hear on earth to celebrate and appreciate... Now I appreciate the things that as a teenager I HATED. lol He always understood me even when at times I got frustrated and told him he didnt understand... he always did.
I think today as well Nick is missing a great man, his own father is miles away and instead of spending the day with him nick will be making a phone call.
Its strange how dads come and go but really their influence never leaves us.
Happy fathers day dads!
hope its a great one!
But just for that one moment of peace I had it all and I still do! I have a husband who makes a great father!! Taylor loves him unconditionally for now... haha Last night he sprung into action when I told him we needed to go to the emergency room, not for me but for Taylor... I was in a blur thinking what could possibly be wrong with my baby... Nick the calm one made sure the house was locked and even grabbed us something to drink.
I never thought that two fathers day ago I would not have my own father hear on earth to celebrate and appreciate... Now I appreciate the things that as a teenager I HATED. lol He always understood me even when at times I got frustrated and told him he didnt understand... he always did.
I think today as well Nick is missing a great man, his own father is miles away and instead of spending the day with him nick will be making a phone call.
Its strange how dads come and go but really their influence never leaves us.
Happy fathers day dads!
hope its a great one!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Fathers Day.
With fathers day approaching I am getting more and more anxious... ( its a good thing nick doesnt read these!) As a lot of you know my father passed away a year ago... Alot has happened in my life since then as well as my brothers and also in our step mothers! Nick and I a little over a year ago...actually 14 months ago yesterday brought Taylor Ann into the world ... This precious little girl has changed all of our lives... Mum has become a nanna, matt and uncle... and most of all Nick a Father... and what a great father he makes!
Saturday Taylor and I are going to have a photo shoot... get the shots printed and framed in a special frame for Nick... ( since he can take it easily to Korea with him.) Here we go this is where I get to brag ( i feel like I dont do it enough about Nick, rather I complain...oops.)
Top Ten Reasons Nick is a great Father!
10. He changes most of the Poopy diapers!
9. He puts Taylor to bed every night!
8. He is always finding cute outfits to put on her, ( although he says he wants a boy next I think he will miss buying baby girl clothes!)
7. when he comes home he always gives Taylor a kiss then me, ( i dont mind sharing!)
6. He taught her how to crawl, not sure if this is why he is great ( as it gets annoying when she can get everywhere!)
5. He switched shifts to help me during the day while im on bed rest!
4. He plays with all of her toys more than she does!
3. I think it says something when taylors first word was DADA ( i know its every kids first word... haha)
2. He gives the best make up kisses... YUP when Taylor is mean to him he always makes her tell him she is sorry! ( i love it!)
1. AFTER dealing with Taylor's first year... HE actually wanted another one! Love it!!
He is a pretty great husband and father... I cant complain!
oh and today peeps we traded in a whole lotta stuff and got super mario bros for the wii!! woohoo to break the boredom of bedrest!!!
Well peeps love you all but ta ta!
Saturday Taylor and I are going to have a photo shoot... get the shots printed and framed in a special frame for Nick... ( since he can take it easily to Korea with him.) Here we go this is where I get to brag ( i feel like I dont do it enough about Nick, rather I complain...oops.)
Top Ten Reasons Nick is a great Father!
10. He changes most of the Poopy diapers!
9. He puts Taylor to bed every night!
8. He is always finding cute outfits to put on her, ( although he says he wants a boy next I think he will miss buying baby girl clothes!)
7. when he comes home he always gives Taylor a kiss then me, ( i dont mind sharing!)
6. He taught her how to crawl, not sure if this is why he is great ( as it gets annoying when she can get everywhere!)
5. He switched shifts to help me during the day while im on bed rest!
4. He plays with all of her toys more than she does!
3. I think it says something when taylors first word was DADA ( i know its every kids first word... haha)
2. He gives the best make up kisses... YUP when Taylor is mean to him he always makes her tell him she is sorry! ( i love it!)
1. AFTER dealing with Taylor's first year... HE actually wanted another one! Love it!!
He is a pretty great husband and father... I cant complain!
oh and today peeps we traded in a whole lotta stuff and got super mario bros for the wii!! woohoo to break the boredom of bedrest!!!
Well peeps love you all but ta ta!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Reality
My whole life there has always been someone there with me... I have never had to do anything alone... when I went away to college my dad,mum, brother, and neighbor dropped me off... They were all there who supported me...
I know that I still have people here that support me, but my main support comes from my husband who in 2 months is going away for a year... never has reality hit harder then now. Im filled with anger, sadness, and im scared... I have not had to do anything alone... I have to go to an OB appointment today that I had to schedule to control my blood pressure... How am I suppose to take news whether good or bad if it doesnt happen with my husband along side of me...
Military is not easy. Not at all.
Can I just rewind life a bit?
I know that I still have people here that support me, but my main support comes from my husband who in 2 months is going away for a year... never has reality hit harder then now. Im filled with anger, sadness, and im scared... I have not had to do anything alone... I have to go to an OB appointment today that I had to schedule to control my blood pressure... How am I suppose to take news whether good or bad if it doesnt happen with my husband along side of me...
Military is not easy. Not at all.
Can I just rewind life a bit?
Friday, June 4, 2010
The beginning...
Most couples I know would freak if they had to spend more than a day apart... Nick and I are about to spend a whole year apart... WE can do this. I know it!! But what really hits home is that this is the beginning of him not at the appointments for this baby. Something that to me is really hard to understand, he was at everything for taylor... there to hold me when I cried and there to laugh at me when it was or wasnt appropriate... I will find out the sex of the baby without him, I will find out a lot of things without him... UGH
People tell me to be thankful, i am thankful oh you people have no idea how thankful i actually am... HE was there the whole pregnancy with Taylor I was spoiled in sense, now I am relying on friends, although eager to help and be there for me i know that at times I will have to endure things a lone that no one except my husband will ever understand...
One year... we can do this!!!
People tell me to be thankful, i am thankful oh you people have no idea how thankful i actually am... HE was there the whole pregnancy with Taylor I was spoiled in sense, now I am relying on friends, although eager to help and be there for me i know that at times I will have to endure things a lone that no one except my husband will ever understand...
One year... we can do this!!!
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