Today as stressful as everything has been I am constantly reminded by my husband,family, and friends that God is in control... when really all I have felt lately is that my world is spinning out of control.
But it is true God is in control. He is the source of encouragement that my family and friends are able to give me... Its funny I always dreamed when I was a little girl that I would one day have money to do as I please, and a husband that worked a 8 to 5 job and was always home on weekends and for holidays... but reality has hit me this week... and as much as I have not wanted to admit it, it really has... I thought it already had but I had just pushed it all to the side to focus on other things, other peoples lives, other problems....
My parents raised me in a strong christian environment... I was always encouraged... looking back I realize it as encouragement... but at the time i thought they were just nagging me. ( haha sorry Mum.) My father when I went away to college told me to have faith... I found this quite funny as My father had not really ever said that to me. But he did and I will always remember it... in fact in the craziness of getting our assignment figured out and nick going to korea his voice is in the back of my head reminding me to have faith.
And I do I have faith that wherever we are meant to go we will be sent there... Nick is going to Korea and I have to have faith that God will bring him back to me safe. ( yes I know it is fine right now in Korea, You just never know what could happen tomorrow let alone in a year.) I have faith that this pregnancy is going to turn out fine and as per mums request this baby will come either at thanksgiving or right on time!
Most of all I have been thinking back on certain moments that Nick and I have shared since being together....one of those is getting married... another is celebrating our first christmas together as a family, Being accepted into his family... also nick being accepted into my family despite circumstances. My dad thought of nick as his son, I know because he would always tell me to tell his son in law hello I still picture the two of them ( i think the last time i saw my father) standing on our balcony watching the jets at the air show. The birth of our daughter.... thats a big one!!! I dont care who you are you always want your husband there with you when you give birth... this time he wont be, its a sacrifice that we have to make.... but I have faith that he will be there in spirit!
man this is crazy how much reality sometimes can suck but if you just have faith you can get through anything! love it!
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