My mother - Go rest high on that mountain!

Tomorrow marks thirteen years since my mother left this earth - As I sit here remembering her - one memory is clear as day - I remember going with my momma to the grocery store and before we even would start getting groceries we would stop by the bakery and get a fresh out of the oven gooey chocolate chip cookie - It is a fond memory that I have and I hope to share this same memory with my daughters. Alot has happened in thirteen years but I can still remember the 8th of February in '99 as if it was just yesterday...

I came home with my brother after gymnastic practice to find our father sitting in the recliner staring vacantly with tears in his eyes ... He simply said without looking at either of us to come and sit down ... I am not sure my brother nor myself knew what to expect - I mean the last time he was this serious was when mom had her stroke... I could not at the age of 10 think of anything more horrible than that. But in a minute my world was turned upside down... I am not sure how my father did it - not sure how he had the strength to tell his children that their mother had passed away nor did I know how he had to the strength to take my screaming and crying that he was a liar...I dont know if it will ever get easier or with more loss will I ever feel the same again...

My mother gave us a amazing "gift" if I may after she passed, and that is Mum - Dad remarried her and at the time and certainly not until I became a mother did I realize just this... Mum was gift to my brother and I - I certainly had anger against her growing up - and didnt realize that this "new" mother was what I wanted - now as I look back it was and I am thankful she waited patiently through it all...

Mum always made sure that my brother and I honored our mother - in everything we did. She always took us to her grave and usually would sit in the car but the occasional time she would walk with me and hold me as I cried out all the anger. I love you mum and I am thankful that you are there for me always. <3

So Mommy go rest high on that mountain!! I miss you and I love you!